Best Picture: No Country for Old Men - because I like the Coen Brothers (Raising Arizona, Fargo)
Director: Joel and Ethan Coen (No Country for Old Men)- because they can give one award and they both get Oscars
Actor: Daniel-Day Lewis (There Will Be Blood) -because he's one of the five best living actors (De Niro, Freeman, Hackman, Nicholson) and shoulda won #2 for Gangs of New York
Actress: Julie Christie (Away From Her)- because she's still a babe and this may be her last chance for #2 and who the hell is this Cotillard babe anyway and did she do her own singing? Christie won half a century ago, just before Beatlemania.
Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem (No Country for Old Men)- because he's Penelope Cruz' boyfriend and has won 378 awards already
Supporting Actress: Ruby Dee (American Gangster)- because she's old and this may be her last chance and she's been a pro forever
Writing - Adapted Screenplay: Atonement - because it won't win any big awards, they can toss it this bone and one Coen won a writing Oscar already for Fargo
Writing - Original Screenplay: Michael Clayton - because it won't win any big awards, they can toss it this bone... blah blah
You want writing?
"Doubt that the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt that the truth's a liar, but never doubt my love" -- Hamlet
Cinematography: I dunno, I didn't see enough of 'em... ok: No Country again
Film Editing: I dunno, I didn't see enough of 'em... ok: Bourne Ultimatum, good action flick!
Music: now Sweeney Todd is a musical, but its ineligible cuz the music was written before this year, for the play? now that makes sense...
Song: what, no Randy Newman song this year? then I don't care...
Foreign Language Films: who watches films with subtitles?
Sound Mixing, Sound Editing: what's the freakin difference, was the sound incredible or not? Bourne had good sound...
Documentary and Short Subject: whatever's the most politically correct topic this year (Iraq, the Holocaust, AIDS, subprime loan failures, Chinese lead-coated toys)
Who needs writers for this dribble? The best two Oscar presenters ever were Sasheen Littlefeather reading for Brando and David Niven responding to a streaker with ad libs and style.
They like to spread the Oscars around nowdays so more films are eligible for the "Academy Award Film Festivals" they have on TBS.
